First week at UP Diliman: suspended classes, looking for classrooms & getting lost, and finally feeling like you belong somewhere.  

Classes have officially started! Hello 7 am classes and copious amounts of coffee. 

16 Freshmen for Political Science.

 Small but mighty. 

Very intersting as well. 

 Being a bit older than them (note: I am probably the same age as the juniors or seniors…) sometimes I couldn’t relate to what they’re talking about, but I do look forward to knowing them and seeing how they will grow in UP. Though I am not in their block as I enrolled later than them but that’s alright. We would have opportunities to do things outside of the campus anyway. If we have the time, of course.  

Not being in a block section gives me the opportunity to meet more people in different courses and year levels. It forces me to get out there and actually mingle (The introvert in me freaked out at this concept but nonetheless, I still pushed through. Afterall, no man is an island). It has been a pretty colourful week thus far. Different characters have finally introduced themselves in this chapter of my life. One can say that I am grateful for it, even if I have hesitations. 

With a campus as large as ours, you will definitely bump into people that you wouldn’t normally be around in everyday situations. That’s the good thing about college; the possibilities are endless, as cliché as that sounds, it is true. You are allowed to re-invent yourself and just be you without any hesitation. Maybe having experienced “real life”, this feels less of a liberating experience but more of a fulfillment of things that I have always wanted to do. Do I feel like I finally belong? Yes, slowly but surely, we are getting there. I have done enough soul searching that I KNOW this is where I want and need to be right now. 

Perhaps a week may not be enough to actually say what I feel about the people around me yet, although I know that there are definitely some of them that would stay in my life. Friendships are hard to forge at this age, though you should never close your doors to opportunities to make a difference in people’s lives. Who knows, maybe they might end up changing yours for the better. 
The rain has been relentless; welcome back to the Philipines, a place where college students tend to be waterproof according to officials. And Math may just kick my butt this semester, seeing as I did not choose to continue it in Sixth Form. However, I refuse to let this change the way I feel about things. 

A little rain never hurt anyone, nor did a bit of Algebra. 

Keep on smiling. 

Love, 

P.S: to all my fellow students braving the Metro Manila traffic everyday like I do-stay safe and dry people! 

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Mind and Heart (Utak at Puso) 

This photo was taken just after I enlisted all the classes I needed. Some of you may be wondering why there are not a lot of people; I’m a freshie so, alongside the graduating students, we had priority on the first day.  It was pretty much touch and go for the most part. Aside from the long waiting time and queues for getting a PE class, it was a pretty interesting day. 
It still hasn’t sunk in that I am going to UP. Since our move abroad, I’ve looked at other universities around me but still kept a small part of my heart for this school. A little spark.
Aimee said that perhaps the dreams of our 10 year old selves might have just taken its time to come to fruition. We both wanted to go to UAAP schools. UST was hers, UP was my choice. (Actually she wanted Ateneo for reasons that I probably shouldn’t say.  Haha 😝)

Waiting for this to happen took years. The last 2 years of waiting for things to fall into place was complete torture. I felt lost and confused but now it is all clear. A bit of a roller coaster ride but its doable. Anything is possible if you have faith and perseverance. 

I’m still waiting if I will go into shock or something, but maybe I won’t cos after all I waited for this for a long time. Monday is orientation day and the start of this school year. I honestly have no idea what I need or want to do but all know is that I am excited, perhaps a bit scared, of all the things that could and would happen this year. 

If you ask anyone, they would say that UP is something else. Hopefully I have what it takes to keep up with it. Everything is still surreal, hence why I could not put my thoughts into words. Maybe once classes actually start, I would have my some more coherent things to say.Right now, I’m still coming down from the limbo I was in. 

It’s been a while since I was this excited for anything that was not book related. 

 Keep smiling 

J

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See you later London. Hello again Manila.

It has been about 3 weeks since I left England to pursue my studies. I went back to Manila to do it.

I would not bore you with what has happened that led to this decision. Trust me, if you did not or have not been through the same dilemma then my words would just  sound like another sob story to you. Yes, I know this is a crazy decision as some would not understand why I would want to go but if you were in my shoes and it was the only option, would you not want to take it?

I travelled alone. At first, a part of me wondered if I was brave enough to do this. Turns out, yes, yes I am. I miss my parents everyday but I know they wanted this for me too. The least I could do is to give it my all. The flight was direct to Manila, so I just slept through most of it and just prayed that the turbulence would not be too bad.

It’s a major change in my life. One that I was really itching to tell people about in the beginning; the only thing stopping me was the fear of failing. Again. Mostly it was me putting pressure on to myself that this time, it has to be perfect. That this time, there are no other second chances; this is my second chance and I won’t waste it. I am not entirely leaving my life in England behind entirely, just for the majority of the year. So travelling back and forth would be part of my life for the next 4 years.

Last week, I was also in Singapore with our aunts. To say that it has been an adventure is an understatement. I didn’t plan the trip so I couldn’t complain about it. Let’s just say that the next time that I am there, things would probably go smoother.

The past few weeks have been a blur of jeepney rides to the university and making sure that everything is in order before the semester starts. Taking care of family matters also happened. each family is dysfunctional, I just believe that mine is extra dysfunctional.

Although I am tired and probably lacking more hours of sleep than what I intend to admit, I must say that I am happy with my decision. Gone are the days when I am loosing sleep because of wondering what to do next? Where was my life headed? Did I know what I want to do?

Stagnant moments are finally over and the adventure officially begins. Location: University of the Philippines, Diliman. My first choice of university back in elementary school. One that I kept in a corner of my heart when I moved abroad, only to find myself there a few years later.

Life works in mysterious ways.

I planned a longer, more elaborate entry than this, though I think for now this would suffice. All y’all need to know is that I am happy.

 

Keep on smiling

J

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